The Art of Conquering Difficult Conversations

There is an ART to conquering difficult conversations.

Let’s face it, one of the biggest communication challenges is having a difficult conversation. Everyone has at least ONE difficult conversation they need to have, but have been avoiding for days, weeks, even months. Here’s how to get one step closer to having THAT difficult conversation, and each one thereafter.

Be honest, YOU have had the same conversation in your head, a dozen times. Each time the outcome is the same, leaving you even more frustrated.

How a conversation becomes difficult

How does communicating what you need, become so awkward? Do you ever just jump into the conversation with the person in your outside voice, and work towards a resolution?

That’s something else entirely.

In reality, the conversation you have in your head bears little resemblance to how it plays out…good or bad. Think of the energy you expend ruminating about what to say, how to say it. How often do...

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Need Help? ASK

Step 1: Spit it Out

Ask for the help you need, short and to the point. Do so without hesitation, in a strong confident tone of voice. Do so without apology, it is to the benefit of those you serve. Do so without qualifiers. Yes, they are busy too, no need to state the obvious.

Step 2: Stop Talking

Once you make your request, stop talking in both your outside AND your inside voice. Pause, let them respond. Listen to hear. Do not be forming your rebuttal while waiting for them to speak. You will have plenty of time to navigate your next best steps once you hear what they have to say.

Step 3: Stay Focused

If they agree to your request, repeat back and clarify what you understand them to be agreeing to. “Ok”, even a “yes” is not a commitment. Be specific. If necessary, get the agreement in writing, if only in an informal email as a follow up to your conversation.

If they say “No” to your request, take a deep breath. This is no time to tuck your tail...

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The First Best Step in Improving Your Mental and Emotional Fitness

Uncategorized Aug 17, 2019

Do you focus as much attention and energy on improving your mental and emotional fitness? WHAT, you may be asking, is mental and emotional fitness.

Emotional fitness is your emotional relationship and response to the world around you. Mental fitness is how you use your mind and tune in to the world around you. With the amount of stress and burnout exhibited in our world today, these two components of your overall health and well-being are vitally important, impacting every facet of your life.

Often the first signs of mental and emotional fatigue are feelings of loss of control or lack of daily connection to your values. Over time, you may begin to exhibit signs of a poor attitude, denial of what you are experiencing, or ignoring the signs completely until significant damage is done to your health. Does this sound familiar? This decline in your mental and emotional fitness common when you feel overextended, find you are faced with too many demands and are trying to be all things to...

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Let’s face it, many of us are resistant to the idea of eating healthy, or improving our level of nutrition.

Over the past few years, I have tried time and time again to eat predominantly “healthy”. I must confess, I am a believer in health in moderation when it comes to my food choices. I tried an elimination diet, and wouldn’t you know, I have a food intolerance; I tried a modified paleo plan, discovered it helps that I am a fan of red meat, eggs, roasted vegetables; I tried cutting back on carbs, sugar, cheese, wine and more, I discovered that “dining by denial” did not work for me.

Even so, I am excited to have experimented enough with ‘nutrition’ that I have found a system of eating that works for me, most of the time (meaning the 80/20 rule: eat predominantly healthy 80% of the time, indulge in my old ways 20% of the time). The older I get, the more I appreciate the impact of eating what I want, when I want, and as much as I want...

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Applying Curiosity in Goal Setting When Bouncing Back From Burnout

burnout health well-being Apr 09, 2019

CURIOSITY: A strong desire to know or learn something.h

Clarify: Are you clear on the outcome you truly desire? Are you clear on the transformation you want to achieve and why? Be very specific.

Unload: What real or imagines baggage are you carrying around that keeps tripping you up, and consistently derails your efforts in reaching your desired goal?

Reconcile: How often do you adjust your plan? What is working? What is not working? What are you ready to start doing? Stop doing?  

Internal: What is your internal motivation for achieving your desired goal?

Observe: What your triggers? How do these triggers create obstacles and excuses for you in reaching your goal?

Simple: How can you keep your strategy as simple as possible?

Insight: What are you learning about yourself as you work towards this goal?

Transformation: How are you modifying your belief so your actions become natural, thereby allowing you to achieve your desired goals?  


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Lessons from a Life Changing Leap of Faith

Uncategorized Oct 22, 2018

Ever make a life-changing leap of faith and mid-jump realize you forgot to make sure your parachute was functioning properly?

At first, you feel adequately prepared. Then you realize you were not fully present during all of the instructional training, and that while it is indeed courageous to face your fear of heights, you could have faced that fear at any other time, or at least faced your fear of public speaking first.

While clearly it is too late to have second thoughts, it would be a shame to let second thoughts ruin your adventure.

It is pointless anyway. You’re in the air, no turning back, so open your eyes and enjoy the view.

Two years ago this week, I took my own leap of faith leaving a 17-year career in pharmaceutical sales to focus full time on my wellness coaching business.

This is not uncommon. Countless men and women make this leap of faith to pursue entrepreneurship on a regular basis, yet each experience is individual.

Jumping out of an airplane may have landed...

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Raise your hand if you have tried, failed, and tried and failed again to make a long-term behavior change that sticks. Regardless if it is a change in your eating habits, your exercise habits, your mindfulness habits, or anything that might up-level your well-being, have you been able to transition from habit to non-negotiable behavior? Perhaps when the stars align, there just might be an unorthodox method to making that happen!

Have you ever made a long-term behavior change, from just the title of the book? Yes, that’s what I said, from just the TITLE of a book.  Apparently, when motivated, ready, and WILLING to change something, anything, that creates a barrier to a finding a true solution to your biggest wellness challenges, the right book title, at the right time, can be just such a solution.

Honestly, this has not happened to me. It has happened to Emily, one of the participants in my monthly workshop, Fast Track Your Way to Wellness. We happened to connect...

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Uncategorized Sep 29, 2018

Do you realize that we are nine months into 2018. Are you looking back nine months in awe of all you have accomplished or are you disappointed and judging yourself for the lack of progress, lamenting all you need to do in the next three months? On any given day, I can go either way. The truth is you have likely accomplished a lot in nine months, and feel you have much to do in the next three months.

Do you focus on what you have accomplished, or just the list of what you have left to do?

You start to wonder how the days slipped away, and your best intentions did not come to fruition. You start to look back and focus on all the ways you wasted time, energy, effort, resources. The past nine months seem a blur and you are left with the frustration that you are not further ahead.

If I may suggest, this is a pointless endeavor. No good can come of looking back!

The truth is, you will only lose more time in the coming months by trying to analyze and agonize over time gone by. Regardless...

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“WHAT DO I MOST NEED IN THIS MOMENT?”: A simple form of self-care

Several weeks ago, I referenced this question, “What do I most need in this moment?” in my blog titled The First Best Step in Improving Your Emotional and Mental Fitness. In terms of self-care, it provides the most immediate response. After posing this question, a few clients and acquaintances shared with me the impact it has on their day when this question is asked and answered.

Below are a few real-life stories of how this powerful, yet underutilized tool, can shift your perspective at the moment.

Karen had been experiencing incredible stress at work for the past few months. There were a number of changes taking place, including a big change in leadership. In the midst of change, she was feeling significantly under appreciated. This was taking a toll on her emotionally, impacting her both at work and at home. We brainstormed several exercises for her to shift her narrative of this experience, yet at the height of her frustration one morning, when someone offered...

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Weight, Is That Really What This Is About?

Raise your hand if you have tried time and time again to change a behavior, only to lose the motivation and drive to continue? Perhaps it was the latest healthy eating fad, the latest and greatest workout, the latest magical meditation, all meant to help you finally ‘lose the weight’. Regardless, you set out with the best of intentions only to drop the ball days or even weeks later.

It is frustrating, isn’t it?

I recently had a client that was challenged by working, two jobs, believing he was 60 pounds overweight and in a constant state of overdrive.

In listing all the obstacles that were keeping him from making progress towards losing weight and improving his overall health, he determined that he was ‘lazy’ and ‘unmotivated’

Further discussion led to the realization that after a long day at work, exhausted and mentally drained, he was longing to do anything but think about healthy eating and exercise. Feeling guilty about not doing...

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